Always Loved
by Mimori Taniyama
Summary: Okay so I know that the title doesn't exactly fit the story, but hey it was the only thing I could think of. So this one shot is based on an idea I had months ago, it's about how Mai is feeling after Naru left. What she doesn't know is that Naru has come back to Japan. Wonder what will happen? Well you will have to read to find out. May become a full on story. Rated T for language


**Okay so this is a one shot that I had found on my old computer when I was searching for the chapters that typed on that computer. The same ones I lost when I had to reset my laptop. This is a style of writing that I have been wanting to try. Please let me know how well you like it. For those who are waiting for me to update on my other stories I will be updating a chapter on Belonging to Two Worlds soon.**

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**Sometimes my heart**

**Feels all alone**

**When you are gone**

Dear Diary,

It's been two years this very day that Naru left us. Two years ago we were on are way from a case and we happened to stumble upon a lake. The same lake that Naru's twin brother, Eugene, was dumped after he had been hit by a car. At this lake we not only found out that Naru had a twin, but that he was not Kazuya Shibuya like we thought him to be, but he was actually the famous paranormal researcher Oliver Davis.

After I found this out I instantly felt betrayed, the man I thought I knew was nothing, but a cover up. _Did we matter at all? Were we just a convenience that helped even more? Did he not care for us? _Even though his name was a lie his personality wasn't and I found that out shortly after his identity was found out. Not only did I find out that his personality was the same, but the man I had been seeing in my dreams wasn't Naru. It was Gene, his brother, and finding this out made me disappointed that it wasn't Naru.

Before we left the lake I got enough courage to tell Naru that I loved him. When I was able to finally tell him that he turned to me and said, "Me or Gene? I'm not sure that it is me that you love. I'm going to go backed England so this is more than likely the last time I will see you. Good-bye, Taniyama-san." I didn't see Naru as he left because I was too confused. It took a bit then it hit me and it hit hard. I could handle being directly rejected, but to be rejected like that... it hurt to deeply that I can't describe what it was like. Just the thought of him thinking that I was using him for a substitute made me furious and it hurt me too.

I love _**him**_, not his brother or anyone else. It was always him and still is. Even though it has been two years since I've seen him I still love him. No matter how many days pass my feelings wont change and I don't wish they would, all I wish for is that Naru will realize that I love him.

I have not changed these past two years, I still have nightmares about the past. Madoka and Lin are trying to their best to help me out with controlling my abilities. Even though Madoka is running SPR it feels as if it's been closed for years and will never be opened again.

You know I never realized how lonely I was until I met everyone. Now that loneliness is creeping back. Ayako, Masako, John, Bou-san, and Yasu hardly ever come to the office anymore. I'm afraid that if I don't do something fast, I'll be left alone again... and I don't want that to happen.

-Mai-

**I'm telling you**

**Sometimes my heart**

**Still dreams of you**

**Do you feel it too?**

I woke up once more that night. I couldn't sleep, just like the night before, because every time I close my eyes I see _**her**_. It seemed that leaving Japan was a mistake for all I could do anymore was think of her and only her. She filled my thoughts, my dreams, and my heart. I finally decided to end the pain and just go back. Picking up the phone I dialed an all to familiar number and waited for the call to be answered.

"Hello?"

"Madoka, it's me Noll."

"Hello, Noll. What can I do for you?"

"In the morning I'm planning on telling my parents that I'm going back to Japan to run SPR once more."

"Why all of a sudden? Is it because of Mai?"

"The cases in Japan are more interesting than the ones in England."

I didn't want Madoka knowing that yes the reason I was going back to Japan was because of Mai.

"Bullshit. You are coming back because of Mai."

"Believe whatever you want to believe, but could you do me a favor before I hang up? Please don't tell Mai that I'm coming back. You can tell the others if you would like, but not Mai."

"Why?"

"I have my reasons. I'll leave shortly after I tell my parents. Have Lin pick me up around three o'clock tomorrow."

"All right, I'll do as you have requested."

"Thank you."

**Sometimes my heart**

**Feels all alone **

**When you are gone**

"Lin, Noll's coming back to Japan."

"What?! Why? Does his parents know? When?"

"He's coming back tomorrow shortly after he tells his parents and he wants you to pick him up around three o'clock. Oh and we can't tell Mai."

"Why?"

"I don't know. He wouldn't say."

"What about the others."

"We can tell them, Noll only said that Mai couldn't know."

"Okay."

**I'm telling you**

**Sometimes my heart**

**Still dreams of you**

**Do you feel it too?**

I stood in front of Madoka's office door, hoping she wasn't in. For some reason Lin wasn't in his office. I had finally made up my mind on what I was going to do. I was going to quit SPR before my heart could be broken once again. I had a letter of resignation in my pocket, and all I had to was get it on Madoka's desk, grab my things, and leave without getting caught. I was so deep in thought that I didn't realize that the door had opened until Madoka spoke up.

"Mai! You're early, that's good because I need you to watch the office for me. Lin wont be in until around three-thirty and I have to leave, but I will be back around three. Well bye."

I watched as she dashed out the door, leaving me behind without a clue as to why she left me there alone. Leaving the note on her desk I gather my stuff. Taking one more look around the office, everything seemed so foreign to me, I left locking the door behind me.

**Second Track**

**I'm back in business**

I was shocked to see Mai at the office so early, but I was glad because that made my job of getting her to the office before three that much more easier. I guess her intuition is getting better.

Everyone was shocked when I told them that Noll was coming back and they asked how Mai was taking the news. They weren't as shocked when I told them that she didn't know and that Noll didn't want her to know. For some reason they understood which was good cause I didn't. When we arrived at the office I noticed that the lights were off and the door was locked wich was odd since Mai was here.

"I thought you said that Mai was at the office." Monk stated.

"She was when I left."

We entered the building to find her desk was completely empty, it was cleared of all her things. I noticed the door to my office was open and that made me worried since I know I closed it when I left. Walking into the room I didn't notice anything unusual except for a note on my desk. I read the note and walked out to the group that waited for me.

"Mai quit."

**Showtime**

I was back in Japan and it felt strange, but I couldn't wait to see Mai again. The only thing I could think of on the plane was that I hoped that she would forgive me. I also hoped that she could learn to love me, like she does Gene.

"Naru."

"Lin, it's good to see you again."

"Like wise. Ready to go? Madoka should have everyone at the office by now."

"Okay."

Before we left the airport my cellphone rang. Looking at it I saw that it as Madoka. Telling Lin who it was I stopped and answered it. Before I could greet her she spoke in a rush.

"Mai quit! And I have know idea why or where she is. We checked her apartment, called her friends, called her, and even looked at the places where she goes when she is upset. We can't find her!"

"Calm down. She has to be some where. Lin and I will drive around and see if we can find her."

I may have sounded calm on the phone, but on the inside I was frantic. Telling Lin what happened we set off to find her.

**Noll.**

**Gene?**

**I know where Mai is.**

**What?! Where?**

**The lake. The same one you found me in, in the exact spot you rejected her.**

**Thanks.**

**Noll.**

**What?**

**You are an idiot.**

**Might I ask as to why I am an idiot?**

**Because you think that Mai is in love with me. When ever I helped her out in her dreams she thought I was you. Now go and apologize to her and tell her how you feel.**

With that he cut the connection. It made me irritated that he called me n idiot when I'm a super smart genius. But I was relieved to know where Mai was.

"Lin, go to the where we found my brother."

"Why? Do you think Mai is there? If she is what possible reason would she have to be there?"

"Please, just trust me on this."

"Very well."

**Sometimes my heart**

**Feels all alone**

**When you are gone**

I was sitting on the cliff where I had told Naru that I loved him. I was there for about twenty minutes when it started to rain, but I didn't care, the ground under me could have given away and I still wouldn't have cared. I didn't mind that I was getting wet, it felt as if the sky was as sad as I felt. I also didn't care if I caught a cold, I mean why would it matter after all I ruined my life.

I was a fool in so many ways. I was foolish to think that he loved me. I was foolish to believe that SPR could be my new family. I was foolish to ever to wish to be loved once more in my life. I was in the middle of berating myself when I thought I heard footsteps running in my direction. I told myself not to get my hopes up, it was probably an animal that got spooked, so didn't bother turning around until I heard _his_ voice.

"Mai!"

I turned around and there _he_ stood dressed in all black with his black hair stuck to his face. He looked as if he had just ran a marathon. He was breathing heavy and slightly hunched over. Though what struck me the most was his eyes, they were a brilliant blue and they were full of worry.

"Naru? What are you doing here?"

"Everyone is looking for you and what do you mean what am I doing here. What are you doing here?"

"Thinking, I guess."

"You guess? What are you thinking of?"

"Of how foolish I was. Of how I ruined my life by wishing to be loved, by ever thinking that someone would care for me once more. That I was so stupid in thinking that someday that there would be someone who would miss me if I ever went missing."

"Mai, you are truly an idiot. There is nothing wrong by wishing or thinking or hoping to be loved. Please, come back with me to SPR before you catch a cold. Besides everyone is worried about you, and everyone believes that SPR won't be the same without you."

"What are you saying? Of course it wont be the same, you wont have to keep saving me."

"I came back to Japan to manage SPR. I don't care if I have to always save. When I save you it makes me feel as if I can do something for you. Please, it wont be the same with you gone. I don't want you to leave and forget us. Besides I... I have something to tell you."

When I heard that last part I turned around fully to stare at. I was debating on whether or not I wanted to go back with him and hear what he had to say. But I never got the chance to decide on what to do. All I heard was a loud cracking sound and I saw Naru's face show fear while he ran towards me. After that nothing...

**I'm telling you**

**Sometimes my heart**

**Still dreams of you**

**Do you feel it too?**

My eyes felt heavy, my mouth felt as if it was stuffed full of cotton, and my throat felt all scratchy. I slowly peeled open my eyes only to shut them against the blinding light. I remembered the dream I had and couldn't believe how much that I missed Naru. There is no way that he would ever be here, it just couldn't happen. What reason would he have for coming back? But it felt so real...

Turning to my right I was met with a surprise. There sleeping in a chair next to me was none other than Naru. _I must still be dreaming._ Sitting up I looked around and realized that I was in a hospital.

_Ah hell I'm in a hospital. Damn it. Wonder what happened?_

"Mai?"

I looked over to Naru and saw him starting to wake up. Once he was awake he looked at me and blinked a couple of times before he was up and out of his chair pulling me into a tight embrace. He didn't let me go for quite sometime, it felt as though he was thinking that if he let go of me I would disappear.

"Mai, thank goodness you're awake. We were all getting worried that you wouldn't wake up ever again."

"W-water?"

I didn't know what else to say other than to ask for something that would help with my scratchy throat. He looked at me funny before he realized that my throat was dry. He handed me a glass from the side of the watching me carefully.

While I was drinking the water I wondered if I had dreamed the whole thing of Naru leaving up or if that I was still dreaming myself. I couldn't tell and it was frustrating. If I had dreamed that he left does that mean it was my abilities warning me of what was to come and that I should distance myself so that I don't end up that way or what? I'm so confused.

When I was finished with the water Naru took the glass from me and sat next to me on the bed. He just stared at me as if he couldn't believe that I was there and to be honest I couldn't believe I was there. Having him next to me kind of reminded me of that if everyone left me I would feel empty inside, as if it didn't matter if I were to disappear.

"What were you thinking?"

"Huh? What do you mean? Can you tell me what happened yesterday that landed me in the hospital?"

"You mean what happened a month ago? Mai, you've been in a coma for thirty-one days. Don't you remember what all went on?"

So it wasn't a dream. None of it was, it all really happened. That brings so many questions to mind. The most important being: _Why are you here?_

"No, all I remember is talking to you, then nothing."

"The ground crumbled from underneath you and you fell into the lake. Mai you nearly drowned."

"Oh well I'm sorry."

"No, Mai, I'm sorry. I should not have said the things that I did. I love you and have for some time now. I was scared at the fact that you could have been in love with my brother, but was using me as a substitute."

"I don't love Gene, I love you. I didn't even know that he existed."

"Will you com back to SPR?"

"As long as you are going to be there."

He smiled at my response before he pulled me into a heart stopping kiss. With that confession and kiss we started something new, a relationship. Wonder how things will go now.

**Sometimes my heart**

**Still dreams of you**

**Do you feel it too?**

Dear Diary,

Today is the anniversary of when Naru and I got together as a couple. It's been three years since the accident that brought us together. We've been through a lot, but have been there for each other and will continue to be there for each other.

Friday, August 13th

-Mai-

"Hey, Mai?"

"Yes, Naru?"

"Will you marry me?"

"YES! A thousand times yes!"

"I love you Mai."

"Love you too, Oliver."

Remember that you are always loved and no matter how bad you feel or how lonely you are there is always someone out there that loves you whether you see them or not.

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**Okay so hope you enjoyed this one shot. Please review.**


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